Saturday, June 3, 2017

That Costs HOW MUCH?!?!

Cartoon thought bubble by purzen

So, as the title of the blog suggests, my mind is very random and this blog follows that same kind of concept.

One day, I might want to VENT TO THE WORLD about my frustrations about bullying.  One day, I may feel led to share a devotional or some aspect of my faith that is challenged or growing.  Sometimes, it's just random funny events that happen to me or strange musings.

Today is a strange musing.  

My husband just told me that he needs two new tires.  Great.  I just purchased two new tires for MY car 2 weeks ago.  In addition to a big, unanticipated plumbing bill.  Whee.

There are a LOT of un-fun ways to spend money in this world of ours.  I decided to do a short advice column for newlyweds, high school and college graduates and anyone else who wants to partake of my wisdom learned over the past 40+ years.  (Or 30+.  Let's be realistic - I learned nothing as a teenager!)

Hear Ye!  Hear Ye!  New money spenders of the world, take heed.  When you think you have a little extra money to take that trip to the Bahamas....if you think you can go ahead and get those cute Manolo Blahniks....before you upgrade to that smart tv - BE WARNED!  You can't!

Something always presents itself in life.  Welcome to adulthood - it ain't always what it's cracked up to be, Toots!  You must save money, tuck back some money, then save again.  Your grandma was RIGHT!  Dave Ramsey was RIGHT!  We aim for a chicken in every pot, but there's no guarantee of a Benjamin in every wallet!

I present these wise and learned (pronounced "lern-ehd" so you sound very learn-ed) concepts in the form of a Top Ten list.  Read, learn and enjoy the:

Top Ten Crappy Ways to Spend Money 
For Which you Must Budget as an Adult 
(I'm working on a shorter title, but this one is very helpful and clear.)

Coming in at..

#10 - Automobile Repairs.  Oh, it's fun to have your own car.  To don your Ray-bans and crank up some Fall Out Boy on a nice spring day - don't you look cool!!?!  Until the fan belt needs replacing, the brake pads are wearing thin or - even worse - you hit a parked car!  (Not that I know this from personal experience, of course...moving on!...).

#9 - Plumbing and home repairs - Ah the aforementioned plumbing bill was a lovely $366.  I could have taken a weekend retreat to a wine tasting festival.  I could have taken the whole family to Six Flags - and purchased food and drinks (or at least one soda).  I could have gotten a new summer wardrobe!  Nope - I got two new hoses under the bathroom sinks.  With knobs!  Wow.
Golden 3D Dollar Sign by GDJ
#8 - Toilet Paper.  Ok, this one is actually my hubby's addition to the list.  I think to expound, he means all the boring necessities that you don't really enjoy buying.  Or he saw the title of the list and made a funny.

#7 - Birthday presents - Ok, I'm speaking specifically to the parents of kids now.  Boy, we never budgeted for how many presents we had to buy for our kids to go to OTHER kids' parties!  Oh, we LOVE our friends' kids and yes, my daughter gets to roller skate for free and go home with a plastic cup of candy and choking hazard toys, but after awhile the presents add up and you need a second mortgage to get through the elementary party years.

#6 - Insurance - I must refrain from commenting on this one as I've committed to keep this blog clean and free of foul language always.  But don't underestimate the pain of this one.

#5 - Tree Trimming - Yep.  Tree trimming.  We had to have someone come out and work on our big tree.  UN-FUN MONEY SPENT.  The tree is still there and while I'm glad it's now healthy, I would've loved taking 25 of my closest friends out to dinner on that dime!

#4 - School Supplies - There is no frustration known to man (or possibly, more often, woman) like hunting for the #12, 3 inch, blue plastic binder with the extra pocket and brass brads turned sideways with the elastic fastener - but only a Meade brand one will do.  Just let me hit Dollar Tree and buy some watered down glue and "Kra-ola" brand crayons and be done with it!

#3 - New fencing and fence posts - Another one for the homeowner. Do I even need to expound on this? BOR-ING!

#2 - The Dentist - Anyone who knows me KNOWS this had to be near the top.  While I LOVE my dentist and her staff as human beings, I am not fond of ANYTHING being done to my teeth.  In my mind's eye, I'm chained to a chair, given sunglasses and a bib to disorient me from noticing them getting out the machetes and Bowie knives and then told to rinse and spit while they bill me double for the bib.

#1 - Income Tax - If you're one of the lucky people who somehow manage to get a REFUND, then lovely - put a sock in it!  But the rest of the normal, honest, civilized world who can't find any loopholes has to cough up fundage every April 15th.
      Amy's political sidenote:  To be clear, I LOVE my country and truly don't mind doing my part to fund roads, 911, libraries and would happily pay MORE if it could be earmarked for the salaries of firefighters, teachers, etc.  (The fact that I am married to a teacher is in NO WAY coincidental!)  I just don't want to pay for a new painting in a senator's office and kind of think that if the federal government was as frugal as I am at the grocery store, we could cut back taxes a lot!
And there's as political as I get online folks.

So there it is, young padawans.  Read...and learn.

You may see the horizon of the future as a smorgasbord of fun!  Restaurants, boutiques, sporting goods galore!!!  But, alas.  The reality needs to settle in.  Before you can buy that cute new fishing boat, fate will have 15 crappy ways to take your money first.

Beware and be warned!

If you enjoyed this blog, please send $5 to - Amy's Trip to the Bahamas.  (Or my daughter's wisdom teeth removal.  Whichever comes first.)   I accept Paypal.
Piggybank by Mogwai

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