A Weird Mother's Day Gift?

Hey Mom - You Can't Make This Stuff Up!

(And I dangled that preposition on purpose! #RebelMom)

My mom lives 14 hours away, and it's mother's day. I wanted to give her a smile and I don't have a ton of money, but she loves to hear about the little crazy things that happen and in my life and there are a lot of them! I have a plaque in my living room that says "Our family must be God's favorite sitcom." When you're a bit left of center like we are, you just own it.

So here's a story from God's sitcom for my mom. Hope you enjoy it, too.

The chicken and dumplings at Market Street are wonderful. Consider this me raving about them, as I'm not sure I have enough energy to truly "rave" at this point. I better back up a bit and explain. Let's just look at this in terms of a "Day in the Life" of this busy mom - maybe you can relate?

It's Saturday. Ah, Saturday. The day that, growing up, was always the most relaxing....the most fun. As a kid, Saturday meant no homework due the next day, no after school activities, good cartoons in the morning and possibly something fun to look forward to in the evening.

But, I'm a grown-up now. Saturdays are different. They are usually filled with a variety of things from work to soccer games to dance activities to housecleaning. Yay.

* Wake up at 8:30 to get ready for dress rehearsal at the high school. I choreographed for the pop show and am looking forward to seeing their work.

* Arrive at the high school and look at the large, golf umbrella in the van, trying to decide whether to take it in or not, as the sky is a bit gray. (Side note: None of my family plays golf, so to us, it's a "big" umbrella. Catchy name, huh?) I decide it's too cumbersome and leave it in the car. This is called foreshadowing, kids.

* During 10:00 rehearsal, I receive a text at 10:53 that my daughter wants to know what time jazz is at the studio and that she can't find one jazz shoe. I text back "11:00" and disregard the jazz shoe challenge entirely.

* We release for lunch at 11:35 and are to be back at 12:30. I texted a friend in town for the day to see if she can meet for a short lunch. Then, I step out of the theater and see it's POURING rain. Sigh. Thinking fondly of our "big" umbrella nestled in the van, I take off running.

* I go to Market Street and discover that they have CHICKEN AND DUMPLINGS on the salad/soup bar! One of my favorites! Happy day!

* I decide to get a salad and a QUART of the chicken and dumplings to have a little and take the rest home for later meals. YUM!

* After my hurried lunch with my friend, I get back in the car and find out that I don't need to be back at the theater after all, so I decide to head home. I look around the car, trying to figure out where to put my quart of chicken and dumplings and actually SAY in my head, "Well....I think it will be ok balanced on the top of the cup holder, because it's heavy and weighted down." Not only is this MORE foreshadowing, kids, this is where my husband starts shaking his head when he reads this. I can feel it.

* I pull out of the parking lot and call to make sure all is well at my dance studio. It is. Yay. I turn left...

...and the chicken and dumplings begin to slide. Now, I saw them start to move and everything slowed down like in the action sequences of The Matrix and I watched, helplessly, as the container slid across the cup holder and began to fly across the passenger side floor. My heart sank a little as I saw my precious lunch for the next three days literally take flight.

* I pull the car into an apartment complex parking lot and zip into a spot, look down and low and behold, the chicken and dumplings have landed upside down...ON THE "BIG" UMBRELLA! I am both horrified and slightly relieved as I pick up the carton that had maybe 15% of my lunch still crammed in the bottom (I filled that sucker to the brim) and pondered the rest.

* I began to think to myself...."It's an umbrella....it gets washed off every time it's used..." and I begin to try to use the lid to scoop the food back into the container. Yep, folks, I'm owning this. I am too cheap and it's too good to waste it! But, now, there's the problem of the umbrella covered in chicken and dumplings - or is it really a problem? It's an umbrella!

* I quickly open the car door and shake the remaining food off of the umbrella's fabric onto the pavement and say a little prayer that the pigeons and grackles will miss the irony of what I'm leaving them. I open the umbrella, shoving it into the crack of my slightly open door. My van now looks something like a giant pina colada with a colorful umbrella sticking out, but I'm ready to wait until the rain washes it clean! - - And that's when I realize it's stopped raining.

ARGH!

* I decide to sit it out and hope the rain starts back up. It never does. After awhile, I do my best to wrap the umbrella where it won't get chicken and dumplings on the carpet and head home.

* 1:00 - I arrive home and carefully take the umbrella to the driveway and open it up. It is not a pretty site. I go inside to get a bucket of water and my daughter - who never made it to dance and attempts to direct the reasoning towards my not "telling her in time" and the loss of the shoe - tells me they NEED FOOD! (Note: Yes, I shot down the blame game, although it will attempt to rear it's head again, I'm sure.)

* I suggest they make a sandwich and tell them that I "first have to wash chicken and dumplings off my umbrella." Now, it's important to note here that my daughters are SO USED to my crazy antics that they do not bat an eye. Their comment when I say that? "Can we have ramen noodles instead?"

* I find a pitcher and fill it up while arguing the nutritional value of their diets a bit and then head back outside with the water....to find that it's now raining again. I laugh out loud and throw the water on the umbrella for good measure, shaking my head.

* Choosing my battles, I head back in and order the girls a pizza, throwing all nutritional conversation from earlier right into the fire.

As I sit here with a now pounding headache and some slightly questionable chicken and dumplings in the fridge, I think how much my mother would enjoy hearing this story. Why? Because she SURVIVED me! I know this is a weird way to say "Happy Mother's Day," but mom - you did it! My Saturdays were fun because you let them be. You were ok with the couch pillow forts and painted rock art shows. You survived all my nutty ideas and decisions and did so with a shake of the head and a little chuckle....perhaps a grounding or two along the way.

I'm a bit of an odd duck, Mom, and I thank you for letting me be me! I'm ok with odd. It makes God's favorite sitcom a lot more fun!

I love you!

p.s. Have any idea where one tan jazz shoe might be? ;-)